Tomorrow the Green Bay Packers play the Dallas Cowboys in the second week of playoffs. If we win, I believe that we will go to the Super Bowl – and baby girl will wait until Super Bowl Sunday (a week past due date) to make her appearance. My luck is complex like that. We last went to the Super Bowl in 2011 when I was student teaching full time, finishing my 100-page senior thesis for my degree, and planning my out-of-state wedding.
Since I was induced with Spartacus at 37 weeks, it is bizarre to think that I already HAD a baby at this point in my first pregnancy. Because we knew early I would be induced for hypertension, Hubster and I stopped learning about triage, contractions, and natural labor since I knew I wouldn’t have a lot of that on my own. It means that even though this is our second child, I feel like a first-time mom in that I don’t know what to expect!
|My sweet coworkers threw me a diaper shower this week. So helpful!|
Obviously each pregnancy and labor is different, so it wouldn’t matter even if I had answers for the questions about “the first baby.” A lot of my stressors (sub plans, nursery setup, bathroom renovation) are slowly progressing, but I struggle with the not knowing how or when this is going down. I like being in control. It’s human nature.
If you are a regular blog reader or hear me talk about my lesson planning, you’ll know I often completely revamp or make up my lesson plans in the three minutes before a period begins. Don’t let this fool you into thinking I’m comfortable with not planning. In those cases it’s MY chaos. If a lesson is crazy, I made it that way.
I have been experiencing the sort of not-in-control nightmares generally relegated to the week before school starts in August. I know it will probably be fine, but I wish I could know if baby girl will appear on Tuesday or three weeks from now. I wish I could know if it will be a twenty hour labor or two, if contractions will start at 3 AM or during an AP English lecture, if my husband will be next to me or if I’ll need to call him from class or drill or a choir concert. Will our bathroom be finished or will we still be staying with my parents?
I really want to have a natural labor; several of my friends are doulas or have had home births who have shared their stories. I love the idea of not being tethered to the bed by an IV and fetal monitoring hookups like I was with Spartacus. My OB and midwives are the best in the region for natural birthing methods, and I don’t want any of the complications that can come with an epidural (and the giant needle gives me the heebie-jeebies). I also have spent most of our ready savings on our bathroom renovation, so a drug free birth would save on our insurance costs too! I told my husband to say, “Tiled shower” and “Granite countertop,” as pain management mantras, but he felt that the nurses might judge him for that…or that in the pain of labor I might lose my nerve and hit him.
I know anything can happen and we will need to be flexible no matter what…I also know I really want the birthing suite with the jacuzzi tub. We may put a bottle of wine in the hospital bag.