…or I might have chucked a kid out one today.

I’m typing this from a school laptop that is missing the keys for a, -, and the right arrow, because students think it’s funny to remove them, or rearrange them, when they are supposed to be doing school work.  Because they’re morons sometimes.

I thought I’d heard all the varieties of excuses from students, but today showed me how wrong I was. As a Drop Everything And Read Monday, my English 3 classes had two easy completion grades: one for signing my list with their name and title of their book, one for reading quietly the remainder of class. One of my students was upset the book she checked out, called Cold Skin by Steven Herrick.  It’s a murder mystery, but it is written in verse, and I had to convince my student it was worth reading even though it was formatted funny.  Inspired by this odd art form, I offer…

A series of Excuses in three parts

By my special snowflakes

I: Why I Can’t Check Out a Book

I can’t check out a book.
Will I get a zero?
You said we needed a book.
But I’ve got a fine.
A big fine.
Like, fifteen dollars, for a book I have at home.
They won’t let me check out any more books.
No, I haven’t asked.
They won’t let me.
They won’t let me.
The chick behind the desk.
Sorry Miss, the lady behind the desk.
Oh, they said I could.
But you said we’re heading back to the classroom.
So I’m out of time.
Will I get a zero?

II: Why My Research Is Not Done

You know that paper that was due last Tuesday?

III: D.E.A.R. time