Y 5 D 65: No good very bad day

Every so often, teachers have days where everything comes together. The students are engaged, when the bell rings kids go, “Aww…” in disappointment, and I end the day feeling energized having accomplished something worthwhile and memorable.

I had a day last week that was NOT that day. 

It was a bad day.  Not quite Alexander levels, but it felt like it.

I love my job, and I very rarely have bad days, which was why this one was disconcerting because of how grumpy I felt.

It started at our English department meeting before school, where some protocol miscommunication led to frustration and deadlines getting missed for some materials I requested for my classes.  It continued into my first period, a freshman class into whom I tried to inject enthusiasm for Romeo and Juliet.  It’s not working.  I emphasized how outrageous some of the dialogue is, and taught them the double entendre meanings.  I was getting NOTHING from them – hardly even eye contact, let alone a verbal response.  It’s unsettling to explain the importance of consummating a marriage and the medieval practice of having priests or family members there to witness the occasion – and not even a raised eyebrow of interest or shock.

We read aloud; we sword fight; we make colorful character webs…so very little excitement…

I really don’t like teaching Shakespeare, mostly because I don’t know enough to teach it properly.  Romeo and Juliet is my least favorite text in the freshman curriculum. I work hard to bring energy to it and not let my distaste show, but their apathetic responses made me feel even grumpier.

During my free period I checked my email to see several responses to a message I had sent earlier in an attempt to clarify a student field trip; in my mood I read them as incredibly snarky, which furthered my general feeling of being unappreciated.  When third period AP rolled in I had already knocked my coffee mug off my desk twice and was not at all ready for class. 

I am pretty sure that my grumpiness was pregnancy hormone related, but this didn’t make it much better. Awareness of a cause only helped me temper my mood a little.  I candidly told my AP students I was having a bad day and that I changed the lesson plan to involve less actual teaching.  I felt so much like snapping at them it couldn’t be a constructive lesson.

I contemplated how realistic it might be to just go home early; by lunchtime, I debated the repercussions of just writing a note on my board to my three afternoon classes, telling them to be quiet and lock the door when they left. Would anyone know I wasn’t actually in my room teaching? Would my students rat me out? 

I made it until 3:05, but left as soon as I could after school; I knew I wouldn’t be productive if I stayed.  Sleep and chocolate went a long way to feeling better.  I know most people have bad days a lot more often than I do, but thanks for listening to my narrative anyway. 

This pregnancy I am much better at understanding how my hormones affect my moods; the first time with Spartacus, I vividly remember sitting down in the middle of my bedroom floor, surrounded by chunks of Green Bay Packer flip-flops that Annabelle had torn up because Hubster left the closet door open, and bawling like a close family member had just died.  The flip-flops did not merit this response.  Annabelle was very confused.

This round I recognize when my mood swings are wildly out of proportion to the situation. It doesn’t mean I can completely control them and flip to the emotion I want, but it makes it a bit easier deciding appropriate responses to the other humans with whom I come into contact.  Although the total lack of gratitude I get from people who don’t seem to notice the supreme self control this requires throws me deeper into the despondency of my own sense of under-appreciation…

5 Mondays until the end of the semester!